Be prepared to modify your plan.

It’ll be good for you.

 

 

 

i mean like, really grow up. i know i’m an “adult” now. i have a real job. i am done with school. all the good ages have passed. i think that once you hit 21, the things you look forward to change drastically.

when i’m 25, i can rent a car without paying insane insurance fees. wwwooooah.

right now i feel like life is on hold. but i’m still getting older, as are my family and friends. i still feel like i’m stuck in the college schedule. sleeping late, eating bad food, living with a roommate, rent…..

i want to live with a husband, cook meals, live in a house, pay a mortgage….

go on couples vacations. i’m not ready for children yet, but someday i will be, and i can’t get there from here directly.

i’m sick of the college stage of life.

weird.

i wish i owned a house in colorado. and one somewhere warm. by some body of water. and at least one of my residences would have a large window facing a city skyline.

and there would be a big leather couch. and a big hdtv. and probably a wet bar. and a hot tub.

that probably won’t happen any time soon (if ever).

but i guess if i work hard enough, i can do at least some of the things i dream about doing. i could travel.

if someone offered me a job that was 75% travel. i would take it. because i just want to see everything. and meet everyone. and go to coffee shops i’ve never been to before.

i would get a better phone plan.

and i would add more text messages so that i don’t go over my limit every month like i do now. i think i would also get a new phone. because i need my phone and my calendar to be the same. as much as i love google calendar, it doesn’t do me any good if i’m away from my computer.

i want to get stressed out from time to time.

i want to work late because i HAVE to in order to finish a project.

i want weird things.

and i want to go to breckenridge.

-jessica

I get so distracted
By some peoples reactions
That I don’t see my own faults
For what they are
For what they are

 

At times so self destructive
With no intent or motive
But behind this emotion,
There lies a sensible heart

 

city and colour ~sensible heart

is filled with news about the weather

ice/snow/ice/snow

traffictraffictraffic crash.

i’m off today….because i have to work saturday. sometimes it’s nice to stay home on a week day. it’s like a happy little vacation in the middle of the week.

i bet it’s slow at the bank today. while many of our customers will brave any conditions to complain about their accounts, the majority will stay home. these are the reasonable customers.

this isn’t the end of this weather. i do not look forward to scraping my car tomorrow. at least there is not 9 inches of slow like last time. dress shoes and snow drifts around your car–these things do not mix well. i’m glad they say there is another 6 to 8 hours of sleet to look forward to. now, i would rather have this, this sleetly snowy mix, as opposed to some straight freezing rain we had last year that took out all the power and knocked down trees.

let’s hope it doesn’t get like that.

i’m moving to arizona.

not really–but they don’t get freezing rain there.

i’m not really sure what my parents were thinking when they settled here in the midwest. this weather is unacceptable.
perhaps you can sense my discontent. surely you understand if you have the unfortunate pleasure of living here as well.

the other day i went to see onerepublic, josh kelley, & the daylights, and i must say, i kind of enjoyed myself. i was surprised too.

jess

 

i honestly don’t believe i’ve been, don’t believe i’ve been alright
looking for all the stupid things, all the stupid things you’ll find
i don’t get it, i don’t get it right all the time

manna and quail ~ honestly

 

for the longest time i thought it was valentime’s day

it just made more sense to me. i couldn’t read, so what’s the difference?

what a holiday, right? people getting together and just loving each other. flowers, candy, cards, the works.

i suppose i’ve never had a “perfect” valentine’s day

it’s never been like the movies, or even how i imagined it would be. i’ve never been in a relationship that was in that perfect state (the one where nothing can bring you both down, everything is lovely and brilliant) on valentine’s day. there was always something hovering under the surface. something pretty large and i sometimes think that valentine’s day was that holiday that offered a little pick-me-up for a relationship that was feeling the strain of cold weather, ugly trees, and an icy coating over the earth (and perhaps one’s heart). let’s face it, almost no one is as happy in january as they are in may. it’s just not the way it works.

so i think, sometimes, valentine’s day can put off the inevitable. or maybe it’s just that little boost that can help a couple through the end of the winter into the summer months where love thrives.

maybe this is a terrible theory, but i’m sticking by it for now.

the problem with it, is that no matter how much money is spent, it’s just money. it’s just a beautiful vase of flowers that were terribly expensive that will die shortly. probably before february is even gone. the best things are the things that are unexpected and thoughtful.

i would rather have happy love and a long hug than expensive flowers and a strained embrace.

i would rather have someone show up with flowers they put together themselves (most likely mismatched because most men have trouble with these things) with a ribbon tied around them, than to have expensive roses/exotic flowers show up at my place of work that i can barely carry home.

i don’t know, flowers are always nice, though, either way, but it depends on the context in which they are given.

there is a slight feeling of sadness as you see another bunch of flowers delivered to your co-worker, but it’s only for a moment.

this year valentine’s day was just another day. i wore a red shirt to work without even thinking twice. maybe it was subconscious. maybe chance. but i blended into a sea of red co-workers, roses, and candy boxes. yay.
i miss elementary school valentine’s day. i looked forward to it for a month or better. planning what cartoon i wanted for my cards. if i wanted candy, or temporary tattoos, or stickers. i would decorate my brown paper bag in 3 colors: red, pink, and white. the rest of those colors could go dive off a cliff in february because i was only interested in three. my bag was covered in hearts of all sizes. for many of them i would fashion a sort of paper-accordion behind the heart to make it pop off the page.

then on valentines’ day, i gave everyone a card, because that’s the fair thing to do. some kids skipped the smelly kid’s bag, but i couldn’t do that. i always gave him a card too. and then he thought i liked him. shoot.

but i miss that. it was much less complicated back then. if you liked a boy, you gave him an EXTRA special card. maybe one of the big ones that came in the box (there are only a few, the others for you best friends and parents) to give a boy a big card was surely a sign of love.

this year the only big card i gave out was to megan.

and i literally gave her a big card. i decided to bring back some of my childhood memories and pass out the little cards. the ones you fold over and just write the to & from. maybe give them a sticker if you feel so inclined. i gave everyone in my office a card. and i must admit, i felt a little silly, but they were awfully cute and it brought a lot of smiles. as small as it is, i think it can make a difference in someone’s day…

or at least, i hope it did.

-jessica

Can you tell me can you tell can you tell
If there’s something better
‘Cause you know there always is
There always is

cat power ~ love & communication

this is extremely out of the ordinary, but i have been home sick all day and i’m bored out of my mind. so i would like to share a few things with you.

i have recently come across a few musical geniuses. i would like you to hear them. because they are amazing.

let’s start with city and colour

this is a solo project by Dallas Green from alexisonfire. he has a lovely voice, and the music is really laid back. just something to put on when i’m reading or working on something. or maybe driving. or really just any time. it’s pretty amazing stuff and i suggest you listen :)

this is what the website says about his 2nd cd “Bring me Your Love”:

“Every instrument used in the recording is “pre-loved”, vintage gear complementing the warmth and honesty of Green’s compositions - an intentional approach to capture the essence and intimacy of how records used to sound. Instruments and vocals were carefully recorded live off the floor, giving the songs depth and intimacy, and eschewing the cut-and-paste approach that is so common in today’s recordings. The album feels like a throwback to the days when an album’s thrills and beauty were found not just in exceptional songs and musicianship, but also in its blemishes and simplicity.”

it’s good stuffs.

next, i have recently fallen in love with the band called the alternate routes

good, in a different sort of way. more upbeat, i guess, but still really really good. i was reading about the band and it mentions that they were coming across hard times in respect to money and that the guitar player turned a $200 paycheck from a show into almost $2000 in one night at the casino. this allowed them to pay rent, finish the cd, and get breakfast at mcdonalds. i’m really glad this happened because

a) paying rent is important
b) i love this cd
c) mcdonald’s breakfast is my favorite breakfast and everyone should be able to eat it all the time.

anyway, try it out. my favorite song is “please don’t let it be”. just listen to it. you will like it too.

okay that is all for now.

i’m going to read and then fall asleep before 10pm ( i think )

this would mean i was awake for 10 hours. total. that’s not even close to a full day. but i plan on being bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow so that i may get things done then hang out with people i love/miss.

-jess

Sometimes I wonder why,
I’m so full of these endless rhymes
About the way I feel inside
I wish I could just get it right

city and colour ~ sometimes (i wish)

check out this children’s book.

funny funny funny :) whhhhhhhat was Disney thinking when they named this book??

you can purchase it here

so, regretfully, i will probably not be posting many more pictures of myself/mylife/myfamily on here anymore. why, you may ask?

because people cannot be trusted.

see, i figured that sharing normal non-embarrassing everyday photos of myself and those i love would be perfectly acceptable. i , however, was sorely mistaken.

i have somehow acquired a creepy creeper identity stealer/stalker.

yes that’s right. some lame, creepy 38 year old pathetic dude stole my photos, my friends photos, and my songs and created a profile for himself on a gaming website.

there he proceeded to make up stories about “jessi” and share my photos and songs. he did all of this through myspace. now my myspace is private. luckily none of my personal info is really on there, and there aren’t THAT many photos of me on myspace–but there were enough.

they’re still up, and i’m not sure if i can get them taken down, i guess it’s not a HUGE deal, but the whole thing is pretty unsettling.

i guess you can’t share your life for your friends and family without having to worry about creepy creepers going to town.

he did it to another girl too–she is in high school.

so yes, i made the things private that i can make private, and unfortunately, i cannot make rockjessie.com private without also blocking all of you…so pictures, probably not as much. i’ll continue to update, though!

-jess

Believe me that your standin on the edge of somethin good.
And its the hardest thing you ever had to do.
Truth be told your beggin on your knees
Singin please dont let it, please dont let it be.

the alternate routes ~ please don’t let it be