took a foto.

spider juice on my rug. ewww.

i think it’s a brown recluse….do you?

-jessica

so, a few fridays ago, my little sister and i decided to do a little pre-wedding celebrating at the jive and wail (it’s just down the street).  since my roommate works there, we grabbed some VIP passes off the fridge and headed out.

vip @ jive n wail = free cover + one drink (better than nothing, i suppose)

all was well until my sister ditched me to visit the restroom.  immediately after she left my side, the men approached.  i guess lone girl at the bar means attack.  two guys “danced” up to me, requesting that i join them.  before i can even turn them down, a random voice behind me says, “sorry guys, she’s w/ me” and an arm settles around my shoulders. their response was truly fantastic, i must admit, “YOU WIN, SHE LOSES”

i turn around to see who is claiming me.  No, not an ex-boyfriend, not an old friend, not a cousin, but a bald man with a plain face sporting a mustache.

well, when i was little i used to watch a sweet cartoon called “rugrats”.  I specifically remember George from Fishyokia, and i must admit, i was a bit surprised to see him out.

here is a picture, in case you are curious about what he looks like:

same guy, i swear! we left shortly after that…

-jess

i have failed you all.  i apologize for the 20 lapse in activity on rockjessie.com, i assure you i will not let that happen again.

assuming i am forgiven, i’m going to carry on with the regularly scheduled blogging.

what has changed:

• my little sister is a married lady.
• i have blonde hair
• my wisdom teeth are officially counting down their days
• the grand levee is no longer?
• st louis has gone from comfortably warm to unGodly humid and hot
• the days are longer (my favorite)
• i went fishing for the first time this year

 things that are the same:

• i still haven’t caught any fish 
• i still haven’t made it to the Ozarks 
• i still don’t have a tan
• i still haven’t seen The Hangover
• i still haven’t purchased a protective case for my blackberry

other than the fact that my little sister is now a Bradshaw, most of those things are pretty uneventful.

so what i’m saying is, my life has been pretty boring other than all this wedding planning.  being the maid of honor is a lot of work!  but totally worth it.  i didn’t get much sleep this last week.  friday night i found it impossible to sleep soundly for more than about 45 minutes as i was terrified of over sleeping and missing my hair appointment and then, in turn, missing the wedding.  but none of that happened.

i must say, though, many things did go wrong.  nothing terribly big, but i would be lying if i said the whole thing went exactly as planned.  to give you an idea of some of the things that attempted to break the confidence of the bride:  2 left shoes not realized until the rehearsal dinner, non-functional aisle runner, tornado warnings, broken down car, unresponsive honeymoon resort, crying flower girl, lost necklace, bridal bug bites, wrong piano keys, lost cake deposits and a nearly missed 6am flight.

but despite the fact that every small thing went wrong, the most important thing was unshaken.  and that is the fact that no matter what happened, abby and josh were still madly in love with each other and never once even questioned what they were doing.

no cold feet.  except maybe emma because she didn’t have shoes until a few hours before the wedding.

here are a few photos so that you can see how beautiful it was.  the party was awesome.  the dj was the best i’ve ever experienced (let me know if you want his info, i strongly recommend!) everyone had so much fun and the party was raging until the lights came on.  even my grandparents danced the night away. 

-jessica

i’m gonna be honest.  most of the pictures from the bachelorette party are completely inappropriate for my blog.  assuming i don’t want an 18+ rating slapped on here.

so, no, you won’t get to see the hundreds (literally hundreds) of man-part photos. 

nooo not real ones, silly.  except for the playing cards (yipes!).  those are fun to pull out while you’re waiting for a pizza at 1am.  pizza which, by the way, wasn’t so good the next morning (though i tried it).  we went all out.  blow-up man with built in ring-toss (i’ll let you use your imagination on that one), 48 inch mr. willy, pin the macho on the man, phallic necklace, and more…good stuff, really.

our hotel room turned out to be entirely too small to accomodate us.  which was kind of a downer…but what’r you gonna do?  squeeze in and bear it.  the bathroom was massive.  pretty much the size of the room.  which is maybe why abby slept there on Saturday night.  or perhaps it was due to the close proximity to the toilet…but what happens in Chicago…!

we did a little shopping in downtown.  went to the biggest forever 21 i’ve ever seen. love that.  ran into a friend from college who just happened to also be visiting Chicago.  small world!

we praced about the town, danced on a piano, took a million cab rides, ending ultimately at the annoyance theater where Abby really got to let loose.  she got her long awaited lap-dance (well, sort of–nice guys, but definitely not professional dancers).  the show was called “skinprov”.  basically it went something like this:

{the place: museum} 

dude 1: (staring intently at imaginary photograph) I’m having trouble getting what the artist was really trying to say in this painting

dude 2: perhaps if you take off your shirt!

{shirts come off and fly across the room}

followed by 5 more similar shirt removals, then pants, then 3 layers of man-undies/boxers/etc.

the idea behind it was silly, but quite entertaining.

we didn’t get to see the beach, but i figured out, even though it’s about 80 degrees here, people in Chicago are still wearing trench coats & scarves.  because it’s friggin cold.  it’s just collllld there.  i don’t think i could live there.  i’m a creature that thrives under a warm sun. 

anyway, as promised, here are a few shots of the excitement.  i’ll keep them tame, but if you’re going to get all offended, you should go away now and come back in a few days.

now a few from the bridal shower.  theme = lovebirds.  everything was very nice, if i do say so myself.

-jess