check out this children’s book.

funny funny funny :) whhhhhhhat was Disney thinking when they named this book??

you can purchase it here

so, regretfully, i will probably not be posting many more pictures of myself/mylife/myfamily on here anymore. why, you may ask?

because people cannot be trusted.

see, i figured that sharing normal non-embarrassing everyday photos of myself and those i love would be perfectly acceptable. i , however, was sorely mistaken.

i have somehow acquired a creepy creeper identity stealer/stalker.

yes that’s right. some lame, creepy 38 year old pathetic dude stole my photos, my friends photos, and my songs and created a profile for himself on a gaming website.

there he proceeded to make up stories about “jessi” and share my photos and songs. he did all of this through myspace. now my myspace is private. luckily none of my personal info is really on there, and there aren’t THAT many photos of me on myspace–but there were enough.

they’re still up, and i’m not sure if i can get them taken down, i guess it’s not a HUGE deal, but the whole thing is pretty unsettling.

i guess you can’t share your life for your friends and family without having to worry about creepy creepers going to town.

he did it to another girl too–she is in high school.

so yes, i made the things private that i can make private, and unfortunately, i cannot make rockjessie.com private without also blocking all of you…so pictures, probably not as much. i’ll continue to update, though!

-jess

Believe me that your standin on the edge of somethin good.
And its the hardest thing you ever had to do.
Truth be told your beggin on your knees
Singin please dont let it, please dont let it be.

the alternate routes ~ please don’t let it be

so i’m officially back. actually i was back saturday morning at 8 am. which is really awful, by the way. my sleep schedule is a joke right now. today i got up at 2 pm. after going to sleep at 5 am. on the up side, i spent last night with friends celebrating the holidays, watching Christmas movies, and just overall having a good time.

the drive home was brutal. ross drove straight through, which is impressive, i must say. i, however, felt the need to stay up for the entire 20 hours. this is never a good idea.

the drive home is never as fun as the drive there.

but, let’s see, i should talk about the trip. perhaps provide you with some good photos, maybe a video or 2. well, the trip was pretty awesome. colorado is a very nifty state. illinois doesn’t really compare. i’m pretty sure illinois wouldn’t hold up to almost any of the other states. except probably kansas, though. as i stated before, kansas is worthless. this fact was only reinforced on the long drive home.

so on tuesday i was doing really well with the whole snowboarding thing, gaining lots of confidence, much more impressive than day 1. then as i was trying to turn my board from heel side to toe side i fell backwards down the hill on my poor tail bone. which now hates me. it was a very painful experience which sent me home early on tuesday and completely killed wednesday.

but i wasn’t going to let it take me out for the whole week. i spent nearly all of thursday on the slopes (the green ones.) rocking out.

i’m not bad. i think this is something i will do again. i don’t know when, but it will certainly have to happen at some point. preferably before i get really old and am susceptible to broken bones as a result of low calcium intake from the age of 20 on.

i really don’t want to get old.

so speaking of old. i saw old man penis. against my will. we did something amazing on tuesday night. we went to the hot springs not far from our condo. i must say, the walk from the hole in the rock to the springs in a swimsuit was insanely insanely cold. but it would have been even colder if we had been naked–like many of the old men there.

now i’m not sure what provokes someone to let it just hang around out there in the freezing cold like that, but many old men found this to be a perfectly acceptable option. perhaps there was a feeling of freedom. or maybe they just like the exposure. not sure. but as i was sitting on the rock steps in the 100 degree water surrounded by pine trees, piles of snow, and rising steam, i was lucky enough to get a close view of one of the organs responsible for the X rating that should be placed on the location.

just flew right by my face. he could have put a warning out there for those of us who prefer to just close our eyes, but nothing, no warning, just a small bit of twig and berries, dangerously close to my head. he was bald, too, just for the sake of your imagination–just in case you were picturing some young hunk. i would never want to lead you astray in your fantasy. he was quite old.

but the hot springs experience, aside from that unfortunate event, was quite amazing. it’s so incredibly crazy that these wonderfully warm hot tubs just happen in the middle of a freezing cold mountain. it was probably one of the most relaxing things i’ve ever done. also, you could just reach over the rock wall to find a freezing cold river. just hanging out. right there next to the hotness. being all freezing cold. and some crazies chose to jump this wall and get a cold burst of, i think 45 degrees, then quickly return to the 100 degrees plus. this cannot be good for your body, but i guess it’s one way to get a rush. i won’t lie, i considered it, but as i put my paws in the water and realized just how cold it really was, i wimped out.

i’m just not that cool.

after 2 hours of wonderfulness, i somehow managed to get out of my suit and back into winter clothes without exposing myself, we headed back. just in the walk up the hill my hair froze. what a neat feeling. but my insides were still so warm from sitting slow-cooking for 2 hours. what fun! i loved it.

i should also talk about another first i experienced in colorado.
so far in my life, there has been a lot of talk about sushi, but never have i actually partaken in this dining spectacular. i wasn’t even sure what to expect.

before we go on, i feel we should review my eating habits…i rarely eat:

• any fish aside from tuna
• cow in any form
• things with weird texture…

i think i just knocked out every type of sushi, right there.

i was aware of this going into sushi, but i do like to try new things. i’m not opposed to giving it a whirl, i just had a bad feeling.

i snacked a bit before we left, having a strong feeling that i may not leave with a full tummy. i guess it wasn’t as bad as you might have guessed. i actually liked the first piece i ate. i someone convinced myself that it wasn’t actually eel rolled in rice with fish eggs on top. actually, they told me the orange was carrot—it wasn’t. the spicy tuna rolls, not my thing, too spicy.

the egg rolls–whatever they were called, these were good. i probably found them so delicious because they actually fit within the confines of my sharply defined preferred food categories.

the worst was the rainbow roll. i’m not sure what i was thinking. i could see the slices of pink fish packed in against the rice and the eel hanging out inside. my stomach rolled over as soon as i placed it on my tongue .

i do think i can/will eat sushi again, but i have complied a list of a few rules that might be used to guide me in a more appropriate direction, given my recent experience.

lesson one: don’t eat it if the fish is outside of the roll.

lesson two: spicy is probably not a good idea.

lesson three: purple haze? no thanks.

lesson four: strawberries and fish, not an acceptable union.

it wasn’t that bad, but probably not a new favorite of mine.

we did get a chance to go out once or twice, mostly to a local bar called the Tugboat. there were encountered the girl with the most annoying laugh in colorado. right there, just hiding out in the small bar!

i wonder if she knows she’s famous…

we also made friends with our bartender and listened to a pretty decent jam band. we could have seen them twice but i am a weeny and have difficulties staying up past 10pm.

once was enough, though, i guess.

so here’s another funny little story for you, because that’s why you read this, for the funny little stories.

upon leaving for colorado last weekend, ross informed me that we didn’t have any window shield fluid. this is never good in the snowy weather, but someone we didn’t think to put more in there.

it was passable until the drive home where the muddy window suddenly became unbearable and treacherous. as we’re soaring down an icy mountain road it quickly becomes apparent that visibility, as a result of a dirty window shield, is nearly nonexistent.

there are no exits for us to take and purchase fluid. so i, being the queen of creative ideas that create large messes, but usually eliminate the problem (that is my exact title, mind you), quickly made the decision to sacrifice my diet pepsi from A&W (not the barbecue place, though).

at 50 miles an hour, in a tunnel beneath a mountain, i reached my arm out the window into freezing cold and tossed a diet soda on the window.

totally worked. except my arm was covered in soda. and so was the right side of the car. and the soda later froze on the corners of the window. and i no longer had a soda (which judging by the frequency of my bathroom breaks is a bad idea anyway)

however, the weather quickly won again and we were forced to spare another beverage. this time it was not diet, and therefore quite sticky. this one made an even larger mess and i somehow lost my touch and threw the bulk of it back into the car. whatever, we could see again.

then we finally get to a gas station. it’s freezing, it’s snowy, and it’s blowing all about, but ross braves the conditions and fills up that fluid tank…..wait…it’s full already….

how can this be? ross explains to me that it must be broken. oh no! what a disaster!

wait, let me try–oh it seems to be working, ross what have you been doing? oh that button with the window? what about that button right next to it with a window and what appears to be two sprays of liquid shooting on it??

for a very smart guy, ross has some moments.

so much easier just to use the window shield wiper fluid. and we didn’t have to waste anymore soda..!

i could tell a million more stories, but typing takes forever, so perhaps when we encounter each other in person, we can laugh about these and i can tell many more. or not, but i like telling stories, so maybe you humor me? maybe i’ll humor you.

merry christmas to you, by the way. and happy new years.

it’s almost 2008. i hope to make it a great year. i hope you are a part of it.

-jessica

And if you want it to be real, come over for a night, we can really, really climb
and those blue bridge lights might really burn most bright while we watch that dark lake rise.
And if you really want to see what really matters most to me, we can just take a real short drive.

okkervil river ~ for real

so tonight i actually worked out. i was feeling all pumped up, and i went to the gym and i worked out for a long time. lots of cardio. i feel pretty good about myself…tired..but good.

the greatest part was that Family Guy was on the whole time. so much easier to work out when i’m enjoying myself. i can almost write off the fact that i’m all sweaty and tired if i’m laughing.

at the gym i realize how very important it is for me to watch tv with other people. when i’m all alone, i laugh out loud, comment, whatever, but when i’m at the gym, it’s rather odd for me, with headphones to comment and laugh loudly in a large white room that is nearly silent aside from the panting of the one or two 50+ year old men on the cross trainer down the line and the swishing sound of the the treadmill turning the the stationary bike pedals shifting.

it’s weird that i laugh out loud–because no one else understands. there are 6 tvs, and no one else seems to be enjoying the programming, so i decide i am watching alone.

and it just makes me want someone else there. just on the next machine, we obviously aren’t talking because we both have our headphones on, listening to the greatness that is family guy. but when something really funny, just a really great moment occurs, i can turn to that person and smile really big, maybe even chuckle (though he/she can’t hear me), and know, that someone else is on the same page as me.

that’s weird…isn’t it.

i don’t notice it in my apartment. it just really comes out at the gym.

so i love when megan works out with me. it doesn’t happen that often because our preferences on working out times dont’ seem to mesh.

i like to work out late at night, so i can shower and then goof off (probably doing some lame, like blogging) and then hit the bed.

she likes to go right after work. which is when i eat. eating is important to me. and thus, a problem occurs.

tonight i bought mad gab. it was on sale for $15. a deal i couldn’t pass up. and now i own it. you wanna play for a minute? cool.

here we go:

in case you don’t know the rules, you have to read the sentences out loud and figure out what they “actually” say.

for example:

Finnel Easel = Vin Diesel

a little harder:

Thief Emily Chew Hills = The Family Jewels

Okay, so here are a few for you to figure out. The answers will come at a later date. Let’s see if you can figure these out.

1. Unique Waters Forth Ease Lots

2. Thief Hull Mound He

3. Fee Sack Hard

4. Thud Hen Verb Wrong Goes

5. Shah Nigh At Wane

6. Eggs Dream Ache Oh Fur

7. Might Beef Hat Creek Wet Ink

8. Weep Ring Hood Thins Tool I’ve

9. These Pie Ooze Hag Dummy

10. Thumb Worth Hum Hairier

Okay, you can leave a comment if you figure them all out. I’d be impressed. Enjoy!

Well, hey, time for bed, but happy Thanksgiving. Eat lots of turkey and mashed potatoes.

-jessica

I want to change the world…instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.
But all that I know is I’m breathing.
All i can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

Ingrid Michaelson ~ Keep Breathing

we are funny :)

…

my roommate and i decided that in order to take advantage of the beautiful weather we’ve been experiencing here in the midwest lately, we should take a quick walk through belleville suburbia.

we always talk about the beautiful houses and how we will most likely never obtain enough funds to actually own one so expensive.

we discuss our careers and our futures and talk about our days at work.

these are always fun times.

tonight megan grabbed her extra key instead of taking the one off her keychain. it was the one her ex-boyfriend had given back to her recently and since it wasn’t connected to her keys, it was easier to grab.

we didn’t think much of it until we returned from our journey. the key..it just didn’t work. we pushed and pulled but it wouldn’t budge. so it’s 8:30 pm, and we’re locked out, standing in the dark, considering what we should.

we are relatively convinced that jarrett gave back the wrong key. but he is in alton and very much working. so he couldn’t exactly bring it to us. plus, we didn’t have a phone.

after a few moments of decision making, we decided to visit the nice elderly woman next door. she always smiled, though i had never spoken a word to her.

as she opened her door in her nighty, she peered out cautiously. apparently no one ever told her not to answer her door at night, but at least we are not rapists. i suppose we look non-threatening enough.

nancy was very kind to us. she let us use her phone, and she let me wish my hands–the frog i found on the way home, todo the frog..or frodo, as we lovingly called him..(we can’t afford to keep a dog here) had peed on my hand during our walk home.

she was kind. and obviously very angry with the management around this place, but still kind. as it drew closer to 9pm we had to say goodbye to nancy as I felt we were keeping her awake. so we sat outside of the apartment and waited. megan had gotten ahold of her sister at McKendree who had agreed to drive from there to pick us up and then drive us to Alton (she is also very kind)

so we’re just waiting outside. chatting. sitting on my car. we meet another neighbor, his name was drew. he was probably 30 or so, he seemed completely harmless and actually came back out to “get something out of his car” but i’m relatively sure he was checking on us. making sure we didn’t get shot or stabbed. good fellow.

at some point I decided we should look into the prospect of climbing up the balcony. this is not advisable. it’s like 12 feet up. and probably covered with spiders. and even then, the door was locked so, it probably would have been all for not.

finally after what seemed like an hour ashley showed up with some good news.

the key actually works.

what?! how.

no way.

so we head back over to the door, apparently you have to jiggle it.

we we jiggled, and pushed. nothing. so finally i give the stupid thing a try and if you do it JUST right, it slides right open. yep.

so we had the key the whole time.

right there.

oh, and when i went to the balcony door—it was unlocked.

i’m prettttty sure i could have stolen the neighbors lawn chair and MAYBE shimmied up there.

but i guess it’s alright. we met some neighbors. and chilled out without the tv drowning out the conversation.

these things do happen for a reason!

and then i scared the living daylights out of megan. i snuck around the corner–just like i used to do to my sisters when we were little–they always hated me for that.

then i remembered this game my sisters used to play when we were little and at home during the days in the summer

it was called mommy monster.
basically my mom would sneak around the house like a t-rex or some other creepy animal and scare the crap out of us. high-pitch screaming always filled the house. it was always so fun to be so terrified.

i had totally forgotten that game until tonight!

i miss when mommy monster was the most exciting part of my day.

cards/cubs game this saturday. i’m pretty excited!

-jess

Oh beautiful smiles, won’t you stay awhile
We could close the door and sleep all day
It’s a September sky with pretty pictures in my mind
That’s lost its feeling of so afraid

Everything is beautiful here
It’s spinning circles around my ears
I’m finally breaking free from fear
And it’s fading

neutral milk hotel~everything is