so i’ve seen this commercial multiple times, and it always bothers me.

there is an elephant. with a British accent. married to a centipede.

there are a lot of issues with this match. no, i’m not doubting the ability of 2 creatures, though very different, falling in love, marrying, building a home.

however, the physical implications here simply make it impossible. PLUS, I think the commercial suggests that the 2 have somehow come together to bring a giraffe into existence(their son–perhaps he is adopted.)

i know, i know, i’m reading too far into this, but come on, couldn’t they have at least chosen a sizable animal to marry the elephant? something a bit more feasible?

just saying.

in another airwick commercial, a raccoon is happily married to a mole. whaever works, i ’spose.
-jessica

I’m nowhere and you’re everything

 

i hate fuzzy ambiguity.

well, to some extent it is necessary, but too much of it is a terrible thing.

i feel so very overwhelmed by my current housing situation. suddenly, and without much warning, i am forced to find a new option.

i find myself scouring facebook marketplace and craigslist trying to find a person or apartment that seems to fit me–but none does.

sure there are apartments that seem nice, and people that seem nice, but i’m having a lot of trouble finding a person whose goals and wants are closely aligned with my own. even more difficult is finding a person who has those things, and also wants to live in the same area that i do.

i don’t think that i’m being excessive or out of line, though. i’m just looking for something different that they are.

i suppose i want to live near downtown. i don’t need to live there. i don’t need to be able to walk to work, but i would like to be near it. i don’t want to drive 30 minutes to work each day.

i want to feel safe. i want to be able to walk to my car by myself at night.

i want a decent looking place. i want a slightly updated kitchen, because i know that if my kitchen is stuffed full of old dirty appliance, i’ll avoid it like the plague. and then i’ll find myself shoving ranch doritos and cheese sauce into my mouth on my bed while watching tbs re-runs. not good for anyone, really.

i want a decent sized bathroom. i like being able to turn around in there. i’m not sure why. i also would like my shower to be clean. i want to get clean in a clean space.

i’d like it to be in an area that is close to things. perhaps a grocery store. a restaurant. a local pub. whatever. i just don’t want to be in the middle of nowhere.

okay. that’s all that is really necessary. everything else is push and pull to get the right price/location/person.

is this too much?

is this too boring? yes. it is. here are some pictures from mexico to de-borify this post. enjoy.

our resort–the Royal Solaris

enjoying the pool

senor frogs

the beach!

 

okay, that will be all for now. g’day.

-jessica

 

Hold my hand
My fingers are cold.
Don’t say a word
Just hold me close.

schuyler fisk ~ be still

 

 

there are only 24 hours in each day. and i like to sleep for 7 of them. leaving only 17 hours to do the things i want to do. i have to work for . lunch for 1. commute for 1. get ready for 1. down to 6.

6 hours to make things happen.

i suppose 6 hours should be enough. except for that i don’t know what it is i want to do.

i can never decide what person i want to be. some days i want to be a singersongwriter. some days i want to be a photographer. some days i want to be a marketing expert. some days i just want to seem like an organized person.

sometimes i even like to pretend like i am a scrapbooker. i’m not really…

focus focus focus.

i can never seem to focus.

i want to have an exciting social life, too. but that, again, takes time out of the day…or really the 6 hours that are left.

sometimes i like to sit and listen to new music for hours. try to be a new music expert.

i can’t be an “expert” in anything because i want to do everything.

i don’t get how some folks can really truly focus on making one dream, one goal, come true.

i know that i don’t have to just do one thing, that a few is great.

but i hate that i can’t pick one thing to really push for. like it’s everything.

it could be rollerblading, for all i care, just that it’s something that i have a passion for. not 12 things i have a passion for that i can’t seem to be passionate about.

each day brings a different focal point. different people i want to spend time with. different activities i want to become good at. but all i really want to do is follow through on something.

i keep all my options open for as long as possible, but in the meantime, i’m missing my chance to be really great at something.

just mediocre at everything.

i suppose my hesitation to eliminate some of these time consumers is what is causing this problem.

this seems like an easy fix, but i experience cognitive dissonance at nearly every level of my life. after i eat tacos, i wonder if i shouldn’t have eaten a pizza. that would have been tasty, i think…maybe more tasty than the already tasty tacos. perhaps i made the wrong decision.

right now i’m attempting to narrow down my choices for some large purchases. i can’t buy everything. i can’t have a new camera, a new piano, a new guitar, new couches, a new bike, a mexican vacation, a dog.

i can’t have all of these things. but depending on my focus that day, each of these things seems like a good idea at one time or another.

i wonder if other people struggle so much on simple things.

i have also learned that being compulsive doesn’t help. thats how i end up with dyed hair, or tattoos. luckily i tend to dodge these bullets by putting the things that really seem like a great idea off for a day or so.

usually within a few hours it’s not such a great idea.

what an unfocused compulsive unorganized person i am.

maybe this is a good thing. maybe i’m a better, more well-rounded person because of it. that is, at least, what i’m going to pretend.

-jessica

You’re so stupid and perfect and stupid and perfect.

the bird & the bee ~ again & again

i look like a zombie. it seems i have acquired some type of allergic reaction which has caused my undereyes to glow red. it’s really awful.

and my eyes just hurt because the area around them is so swollen.

i’m not sure what has caused this, but it makes me very unhappy.

i’ve tired cucumbers, various lotions/gels, ice water, and a wet rag. luckily, the swelling went down, but the redness stays.

i feel very self-conscious.

oh well. i bought some pretty heavy concealer, and it seems to do the trick.

i just wish it would go away. i look like a creeper. a drug addict, maybe. or someone that never ever sleeps.

in other news– some exciting things have been happening, that i don’t want to talk about yet, as to not jinx them. but as soon as i know, i’ll let you know.

L.A. was nice. it was good to get away. it was great to see Micah. it was wonderful to feel like a kid again at Disneyland. it was perfect to get lost in the rides. it was exciting to feel weightless. it was peaceful on huntington beach.

it was good to get out of the suits and into a sundress (plus a sweatshirt, it was cold)

it was beautiful there.

i experienced the best frozen yogurt ever.

yogurtland.

it was amazing. so many flavors and toppings. the best part was, you just walk in, get a cup, fill it with whatever of 10 different kinds of frozen yogurt you would like, then you pile on toppings YOURSELF, so if you want a cup full of cookie dough and oreos (or strawberries and kiwi), you just pile away.

then they weigh it. it’s a pretty sweet deal.

long beach is great.

i recommend going there if you’re in so cal.
i guess i shall post some pictures for you. just don’t steal them and pretend they are you at a gaming website. that’s dumb.

-jessica

 

Soon all the clouds will disappear,
And leave just you and me.
‘Cause a little bit of sunlight is all that I want from you,
A little bit of sunlight,
Is all that I want

the kinks ~ a little bit of sunlight

10am

we’re almost to colorado now, finishing up the final leg of kansas. Kansas is really long, and really boring, by the way. The weather has been a huge pain in the butt so far on this journey.

Last night upon leaving we could really only drive 35 mph at most. Very dangerous stuffs. After we got out of the stl area though, it slowed up and we could drive the speed limit. I actually haven’t driven at all yet, I was planning on taking part of Kansas but about halfway through we realized just how bad they had gotten it. Everything is just coated with a sheet of ice and most of the interstate is slippery. I don’t really want to drive in that and since I drive like an old woman in bad weather, i’m pretty sure no one else wants me to drive either.

 

So the other guy in the car, chad, he got a ticket this morning. Clocked at 91. probably going faster.. I must admit I feared for my life at multiple points in time, but so far we’re surviving.

The biggest issue so far was the lack of open gas stations when I felt I might explode. Finnnnnally, and oddly enough, at bunker hill, kansas, we found an open conoco. Thank goodness for trust stops.

 

I made friends with some girls in the bathroom. They are also on their way to colorado, but their drive is something like 6 hours total. They don’t even KNOW. 18 hours in the car—too much.

They are actually headed to Colorado Springs though. Our destination is Steamboat Springs. I have no idea where this is located on a map, and i’m really just taking the guys word for it that we’re going the right way.

 

I’m pretty sure this is why I bought a laptop by the way. Just so I could type and ride. AND listen to this greatness. I’m not carsick…..yet. But it’s been like an hour since I flipped this thing on and so far, I’m feeling alright. This is good news.

 

It’s pretty baron around here. Just some flat lands, farms, and lots of ice and snow. We attempted to stop at a gas station earlier (which was closed) and found some super sweet ice weeds. I think i’ll post a picture so you can see what I mean. But they were pretty nifty.

 

This morning I woke up after a short nap and it was just before sunrise over Kansas. It was very pretty. The skies are really clear and blue today. Thank goodness the storm is over. It was just really beautiful though, hills, and grass poking through snow dusted hills, the sun hitting everything from just behind the skyline. I liked it.

 

The rest of Kansas, though, very lame.

 

Last night we had a Hutson family gathering at Bunker Hill, IL. It’s always nice to see the family, get a few presents, and eat delicious food. Sadly, I was late. I got off work late yesterday and then couldn’t find any long underwear anywhere (it is apparently an essential item). Once I packed and my 35 minute drive turned into an hour and a half, I practically missed the whole thing.

However, my family loves me and they hid away some cheesy potatoes before they got eaten up. I’m not sure who makes those, but I think they should take a hint from the last 20 some years of celebrations where they disappear within 20 minutes and just make double portions :)

 

So it’s gonna be really great not to work next week. We have just been so busy as a result of conversion. It’s getting better though, and after a week away I should be superb.

We had an area christmas party on friday. That was a pretty good time. Free food and drinks and karaoke. I did a little dancing too, of course.

 

I really want to get there and take a shower. I feel pretty gross and I really want to lay down in a bed. This back seat, not all that comfortable.

Did I mention I only know one person on this entire trip?? Hopefully I’ll make friends quickly though….once I get some sleep I’ll be extroverted again and much less irritable.

 

9:30pm

 

we’ve been here since about 6pm. The drive was ohhh so long, 16 hours straight through. But the tail end of it was beaaautiful. We saw a sunset over mountains. So today, I saw a sunrise AND a sunset. And I only got about 2-3 hours of sleep. So at 930 I have every intention of putting myself to bed.

Tomorrow we’re on the slopes early, by 8 am I hear! Hopefully I won’t fall TOO much.

 

-jess

 

I roll the window down
And then begin to breathe in
The darkest country road
And the strong scent of evergreen

death cab ~ passenger seat

 

allllllllllright, folks. i’m prettttttttty excited to be typing to you from my brand new laptop. a computer that functions efficiently and is reliable. this is big news!

so as difficult of a decision as it was, i ultimately purchased an hp. sure there are things about it that i don’t like as much, but that is with any computer. when i weighed the pros and cons, this is where i ended up, and i’m pretty happy with it.

so now i can update more frequently. and not be so incredibly lame.

okay guess what else is exciting?!

new episode of the office tonight

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

in 5 minutes.

in the mean time

i have a few pictures i thought i would put up for your viewing pleasure

it has been QUITE some time since i have updated, and therefore, i have many pictures to share.

so this is my ginger. she’s a sweet little pup.

this is me with the flag of our ship. it represents all that we stand for in the kreinheder pontoon.

i have the cutest cousin

the older sister and her boyfriend, mark

this is my kizz. she is precious.

abby’s halloween costume

my feet.

our workhourse

our feet.

i just won $27. that’s why i look so happy.

this guy guards our garbage.

some people i really miss.

jakob

totally normal.

my old roomies

i wanted to buy one, but the trunk wasn’t big enough

that’s my grandie in the red

the amish

happpppppy birthday este

everyone loves a party hat

you are jealous of our finger goblins

bahhhhhhh!

 

alright, well, i hope you have enjoyed these fotos. they are quite entertaining if i do say so myself.

i have to be up rather early tomorrow so i’m going to get to sleep, but i promise i’ll tell you all about my new computer in the very near future. and then i’ll tell you other exciting things.

so come back.

and read.

-jess

 

I will live a simple life
In a place i understand
You are always welcome here

denison witmer~simple life

my mother has informed me that i need to update this here website. and so, in my saturday boredom, i have decided to do so.

i can’t think of much to do today, i already slept until 2 which took care of a good portion of the day. i’m not sure how i feel about that, but i suppose it’s too late now.

last night we celebrated my friend justin’s 21st birthday. it was pretty darn exciting to see him again, and to see him in this altered state of mind for the first time. we spent a few hours watching an amazing folkish group at a bar in Soulard called McGurks. in the past i haven’t enjoyed the place very much but last night we had a ton of fun. the banjo playing, the good friends, the atmosphere–it was a good time! we stayed a little too long though because by the time we left, every other bar in the universe (aside from the terrible Buka) was closing. we spent a few good minutes at the Venice Cafe, also in Soulard, before heading to a diner to get some middleofthenight snacks.

that’s me hugging the birthday boy–he’s been in cali for the summer so i haven’t seen him in quiiiitte some time

i am a big fan of the Venice Cafe–last night was actually only my 2nd time going there. it has a really really laid back feel to it–it’s very..hippieish. i like that about it, though. there are tons of random things nailed to the walls and they have a palm reader on staff in case you need a little advice or just want to see the future. (she read my palm a few weeks ago, but i’m not sure how much i actually learned from the exp.)

it was really cool though.

practically everyone i know is getting ready to start school back up..i, however, am old. and i am getting ready for another week at the bank.

nothing new.

i really really miss college. hanging out with my college friends last night only reminded me of that fact more. don’t get me wrong, my job, it’s alright, i just miss staying up late and seeing a million people i know each day. i even miss classes and homework. i don’t learn as much now and i really like learning (because i am a total nerd.)

i will probably go back at some point, but it’s just not the same in grad school.

i am old now.

i must deal with that.

and watch the cardinals game–which, by the way is going horribly. 0-5 against the cubbies. yep.

i’ll be sure and try to update more frequently now.

-jess

My city’s still breathing (but barely it’s true)
through buildings gone missing like teeth.
The sidewalks are watching me think about you,
sparkled with broken glass.
I’m back with scars to show.
Back with the streets I know.
Will never take me anywhere but here.

the weakerthans–left and leaving