i never thought that not having a place to live would be so stressful.  okay, that’s a lie.  i knew it would be stressful, but perhaps i did not anticipate that it would leave me exhausted and sick with worry/stress.

i suppose i thought i would find something more quickly.  or maybe i thought the time would fly by (it has not).

i’m headed home to spend some time with my parents and my lovely puppy, Stella, this weekend.  i’m ready to have some control back, at least for a weekend.  to sleep in a bed/room/place that is “mine” not borrowed.

i’m helping my parents get a yard sale together this weekend.  i used to loveee helping w/ the yardsales when i was little.  my sisters and i, being entrepreneurs at heart, always made lemonade and brownies to sell to the (hopefully) hungry/thirsty shoppers.  we usually made bank (for 10 year olds).

i misssss that.  after the yard sale my dad would give us each a share of the pot for us to spend, or in my case hoard.  i was a true money hoarder as a child.  i saved nearly every penny, usually with some big purchase in mind.  this was the direct opposite of my sister who spent money before she even had it in her hand.

i once even saved up my cash from chores and the decent sum i managed to win at a talent show (i was quite the little performer back in the day) and bought a trampoline.  best purchase ever, btw.  ever.

we had it for years until we moved across town to a house with a much smaller yard.  no room for trampoline.  we sold it, even though it had a small, but noticable hole from an incident involving trampoline sparklers.  (not a good idea.)

i loved that thing, though.  i remember one night when it was actually quite cold, my dad woke us up in the middle of the night and we grabbed a ton of blankets and headed out to the trampoline to watch the meteor shower.  it was quite amazing.  also, my sisters and i used to drag the hose on top of the trampoline and turn it into a giant slippery circle of dangerousness.  great fun, but someone always managed to get hurt…especially our super-lame neighbors.

i suppose i should stick to the present, though.  the present, where i am a nomad.  but this will soon be over, i am hoping.  i think i have found the place.

it’s a 4 family.  1/2 block from a giant park.  it has a nice enclosed backyard.  2nd floor.  sunroom. big modern kitchen. stained glass windows. original fireplace.  little balcony.  lots of space.  walgreens/schnucks close by. allows dogs!

the downsides: street parking.  pricey-ish.  borders the “shady” part of town. not as close to restaurants/bars as i would like.  i might get lonely (this is where Stella comes in).

if you don’t know Stella, she’s my awesome pug/terrier pup.  she’s about 6 months old, and  she’s living w/ my parents at the moment.  i’m so incredibly excited to take her home with me.  i know she’s going to be a pain for awhile, but i imagine we’ll get along just fine once we get into the groove.

if i can manage to hold out for 2 more weeks, everything will be okay.

-jessica

 

now here’s the sun, it’s alright

the arcade fire ~ rebellion (lies)

sometime during the late 90s, my taste in music began to suck considerably less.  this simply means i stopped listening to n’sync and the backstreet boys, and began listening to well, anything else.

one of my favorite sources of new music back in those days was from movie soundtracks.   i was reminded of my practice of trolling amazon’s soundtrack listings, listening to 30-second snippets to decide if a song was worth a download, while i was watching “can’t hardly wait” this morning (just happened to be on, it wasn’t on purpose or anything).  I remembered how much i used to love some of the songs on that movie,  and then i began thinking about all those other “teen” movies that struck me back at that time, and how they had some great music too.

and it led me here.  re-listening, re-evaluating.  because it’s sunday.  and because it’s easier than going to the gym, yet i still feel somewhat productive.

these are my top 3 songs from my favorite 90s soundtracks:

dazed & confused (1993)

foghat ~ slow ride
war ~ low rider
lynyrd skynyrd~ tuesday’s gone

reality bites (1994)

the juliana hatfield 3 ~ spin the bottle
lisa loeb ~ stay
squeeze ~ tempted

clueless (1995)

world party ~ all the young dudes

radiohead ~ fake plastic trees (favorite)
jill sobule ~ supermodel

can’t hardly wait (1998)

feeder ~ high
matthew sweet ~ farther down
dog’s eye view ~ umbrella

american pie (1999)

blink 182 ~ mutt
dishwalla ~ find your way back home
bic runga ~ sway

drive me crazy (1999)

barenaked ladies ~ it’s all been done
plumb ~ stranded
phantom planet~ is this really happening to me

cruel intentions (1999)

counting crows ~ colorblind (other favorite)
aimee mann ~ you could make a killing
the verve ~ bitter sweet symphony

 

 

 

 

 

-jess

 

And if I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted
All the time, all the time.

radiohead ~ fake plastic trees

so every now and then my local cable just kicks it.  simply won’t work.  it’s super lame because one of the things i like to do when i get ready for the day is watch the news.  gotta figure out where the shootings and robberies occurred the night before.

i also enjoy fox 2’s tim ezell and his silly antics.

but for the past few days, i’ve been forced to find alternative sources of entertainment.

enter saved by the bell.

i can’t tell you how many times i’ve seen each episode of this show that has been playing SINCE I WAS FIVE.  yep.  5.  but i could basically tell you which episode i’m watching in less than 30 seconds.  i can name the teachers that only appeared in even just one episode.  i know the nuances and contradictions. it’s creepy how well i know that show.

anyway, yesterday as i was getting up and around, my all-time favorite episode came on.

yep, you guessed it.  the ever-popular caffeine pill episode.

the “freak-out” is such a memorable moment.  everyone knows what you’re talking about when you say the caffeine pill episode was on.

unfortunately for me, i have to be at work by 8, and since the episode started at 7:30, i missed my favorite part.  sad day. however, i youtubed it and placed it here for your viewing pleasure.

what’s your favorite sbtb episode?

-jess

I’m so excited,
And I just can’t hide it,
I’m about to lose control
And I think I like it.
pointer sisters ~ i’m so excited

so, a few fridays ago, my little sister and i decided to do a little pre-wedding celebrating at the jive and wail (it’s just down the street).  since my roommate works there, we grabbed some VIP passes off the fridge and headed out.

vip @ jive n wail = free cover + one drink (better than nothing, i suppose)

all was well until my sister ditched me to visit the restroom.  immediately after she left my side, the men approached.  i guess lone girl at the bar means attack.  two guys “danced” up to me, requesting that i join them.  before i can even turn them down, a random voice behind me says, “sorry guys, she’s w/ me” and an arm settles around my shoulders. their response was truly fantastic, i must admit, “YOU WIN, SHE LOSES”

i turn around to see who is claiming me.  No, not an ex-boyfriend, not an old friend, not a cousin, but a bald man with a plain face sporting a mustache.

well, when i was little i used to watch a sweet cartoon called “rugrats”.  I specifically remember George from Fishyokia, and i must admit, i was a bit surprised to see him out.

here is a picture, in case you are curious about what he looks like:

same guy, i swear! we left shortly after that…

-jess

for the longest time i thought it was valentime’s day

it just made more sense to me. i couldn’t read, so what’s the difference?

what a holiday, right? people getting together and just loving each other. flowers, candy, cards, the works.

i suppose i’ve never had a “perfect” valentine’s day

it’s never been like the movies, or even how i imagined it would be. i’ve never been in a relationship that was in that perfect state (the one where nothing can bring you both down, everything is lovely and brilliant) on valentine’s day. there was always something hovering under the surface. something pretty large and i sometimes think that valentine’s day was that holiday that offered a little pick-me-up for a relationship that was feeling the strain of cold weather, ugly trees, and an icy coating over the earth (and perhaps one’s heart). let’s face it, almost no one is as happy in january as they are in may. it’s just not the way it works.

so i think, sometimes, valentine’s day can put off the inevitable. or maybe it’s just that little boost that can help a couple through the end of the winter into the summer months where love thrives.

maybe this is a terrible theory, but i’m sticking by it for now.

the problem with it, is that no matter how much money is spent, it’s just money. it’s just a beautiful vase of flowers that were terribly expensive that will die shortly. probably before february is even gone. the best things are the things that are unexpected and thoughtful.

i would rather have happy love and a long hug than expensive flowers and a strained embrace.

i would rather have someone show up with flowers they put together themselves (most likely mismatched because most men have trouble with these things) with a ribbon tied around them, than to have expensive roses/exotic flowers show up at my place of work that i can barely carry home.

i don’t know, flowers are always nice, though, either way, but it depends on the context in which they are given.

there is a slight feeling of sadness as you see another bunch of flowers delivered to your co-worker, but it’s only for a moment.

this year valentine’s day was just another day. i wore a red shirt to work without even thinking twice. maybe it was subconscious. maybe chance. but i blended into a sea of red co-workers, roses, and candy boxes. yay.
i miss elementary school valentine’s day. i looked forward to it for a month or better. planning what cartoon i wanted for my cards. if i wanted candy, or temporary tattoos, or stickers. i would decorate my brown paper bag in 3 colors: red, pink, and white. the rest of those colors could go dive off a cliff in february because i was only interested in three. my bag was covered in hearts of all sizes. for many of them i would fashion a sort of paper-accordion behind the heart to make it pop off the page.

then on valentines’ day, i gave everyone a card, because that’s the fair thing to do. some kids skipped the smelly kid’s bag, but i couldn’t do that. i always gave him a card too. and then he thought i liked him. shoot.

but i miss that. it was much less complicated back then. if you liked a boy, you gave him an EXTRA special card. maybe one of the big ones that came in the box (there are only a few, the others for you best friends and parents) to give a boy a big card was surely a sign of love.

this year the only big card i gave out was to megan.

and i literally gave her a big card. i decided to bring back some of my childhood memories and pass out the little cards. the ones you fold over and just write the to & from. maybe give them a sticker if you feel so inclined. i gave everyone in my office a card. and i must admit, i felt a little silly, but they were awfully cute and it brought a lot of smiles. as small as it is, i think it can make a difference in someone’s day…

or at least, i hope it did.

-jessica

Can you tell me can you tell can you tell
If there’s something better
‘Cause you know there always is
There always is

cat power ~ love & communication