so up until this point, i haven’t been involved in any automobile mishaps or wrecks. at least not my own…once i had a flat tire, and there was a rattling noise..but otherwise a clean record. however, this is no longer true.

on friday i was driving along, minding my own business on a 2 lane road near downtown st louis, just trying to get a hot dog or perhaps a chicken wrap from dairy queen, when all of the sudden the taurus (fitting) in the next lane decide it would like to be in my lane too. this would have been acceptable except that i was currently utilizing that lane.

so before i knew it there was a vehicle coming at me from the side. my first reaction–slam on the breaks, okay, good, fine. second reaction, turn the car away. this would have been fine, except that in soulard the median’s are quite large and very much solid. not exactly conducive to a comfortable exit from disaster. perhaps i should have let the car hit me. this seems to be the advice i have been receiving from insurance.

my front left tire rammed up against the median and exploded. but not only that, it jammed up against the curb hard enough to efffff up some other important parts, so a tire change wasn’t good enough. she’s out. locked up in a midas for at least a few days. oh and there is a dent. i was worried about the small door dings. now i have quite a large dent and area of paint scrape-age.

the best part? the taurus stopped about 100 feet up, looked back, and drove away. yes. they drove away. i cried for a few seconds, then climbed out my passenger side on a busy street. luckily a nice passbyer saw the event and stopped. he helped me put on a donut and get out of the street.

because i was so close to work, 2 of the girls were able to come to my rescue very quickly and stayed by my side until the police came, and then took me back to work, but not until they bought me some dairy queen.

work was followed by a beer with a bunch of folks from the office.
a necessary component to an awful day, it seems.

i have some very good friends, and a lot of people that care enough about me to listen, and drive me around, and make me feel better. i’m glad to know i can count on the people around me when i’m down and out, because i was certainly down this weekend. perhaps i still am.

i’m also glad to know that some strangers will stop and do a good deed while others will eff up your car and drive away with no remorse.

lucky for me, larry, a guy i work with is out of town this week, and has lent me his truck (yes truck!) to get to and from work. this is a huge lifesaver. i was completely worried about the commute and how i could make that happen without a vehicle.

when i get married and my husband and i are picking a car insurance, it will most definitely include a car rental component to the accident insurance. yes. we will get a nice car from enterprise or something–it will pick us up. or maybe i’ll just not get in any more wrecks.

speaking of trucks–there was one bright part of my weekend. my boss had some free monster truck challenge tickets last week that he was giving out. i took a few on the offchance that i could find someone willing to attend such an event with me.

without much hesitation my little sister, her fiance, 2 of her friends, and my cousin and i ended up with thousands of other excited monster truck fans at gateway on saturday night.

i have never attended a monster truck rally before–but, hey, first time for everything. it was actually more fun that i would have ever imagined. large trucks flying through the air, crushing things…how can you go wrong? unfortunately, none of them flipped over or caught on fire. they did put on a good show though.

additionally, there were motorcycles flying 80 feet through the air, doing flips and tricks. oh, and a stretch monster truck with lights and smoke.

as i said–how can you go wrong with all of these components. we each picked a truck to be “ours” and got into the competition. mine was awful and lost right away. just in case you ever do this, a little advice, the best ones are the ones that actually have a truck on top of the giant tires. for whatever reason, sticking the neon green body of a car onto 4 10 foot tall tires, doesn’t result in a winning monster “truck”. i should have considered this before picking–i was just distracted by it’s bright colors.

we even spotted several mullets–which always makes for a good night. i couldn’t possibly be down when witnessing all of these things in one action packed evening.

t minus 12 days.

-jessica

 

There’s no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

jason mraz ~ i’m yours

 

my guitar loves me right now. i play it all the time. i’m not sure what brought on this incessant need to play, but it has arrived and is taking over my life.

and i like it. i like that i’m trying not to suck. that’s really great news for me and everyone, i think.

my life is drastically different than it was 2 months ago. i do different things in my free time, i hang with different people, i go to different places, i eat different things, i ENJOY my job, i would have to say i’m generally happier.

i hope to move to st louis soon. for whatever reason i have this idea in my head that i should be living in the city in a loft with high ceilings and brick walls. i want to kill carpet cozy. i’m not sure what brought on this sudden for distaste intricate layouts, detached kitchens, and feeling safe at night, but i don’t want this anymore.

well, i want to feel safe at night, but i suppose i can bargain safety for style. haha. priorities.

mexico plans have been finalized, sort of. we won’t know where we are staying until the day we leave. this sort of uncertainty typically makes me feel rather uneasy, but right now i’m pretty chill about the whole thing. probably because i’m even going to mexico. i was a bit worried that the whole thing would fall through. it didn’t. let’s pray for good weather and minimal sunburns.

okay, i’m going to visit guitar center and visit my wish list.

i’d like to leave you with this piece of advice, however unsolicited it may be:

cheaters don’t deserve explanations.

-jessica

i’m way too high strung.

it is really starting to feel like summer now

i went to my first cardinals game of the year

shorts are now acceptable apparel without getting that weird look

we grilled some hotdogs tonight

it’s good stuff!

as far as the job is going, i feel much busier than I used to. it’s very different, but i really enjoy the environment, the people, the overall concept. it’s good stuff too.

so i don’t know if i told you, we’re going to mexico this summer. i’m super pumped. some of the details are still a little fuzzy, but we know the dates and place.

it’ll be so nice to just relax for a week–surely i’ll be in need of a vacation by august.

i’m also doing a short weekend trip to Chicago in july (i think) actually..for 4th of july. staying near navy pier, seeing the fireworks, shopping, very exciting!

things are good. they are busy, but good.

i’m sorry if you haven’t heard from me in awhile…hopefully i’ll soon become accustomed to this schedule that doesn’t allow for much sleep and even less free time.

i think i’m having a luau soon. i have lei’s, grass skirts, hawaiian music. yep. it’s gonna be a good time. when i finally get around to planning the silly thing, a facebook invitation will surely go out.

-jess

what if i stopped
just for a while
to see where the sun goes
still up the night
just for a while

the bird and the bee ~ spark

.my body hates me.

And I want to know my fate
If I keep up this way.
And it’s hard to want to stay awake
When everyone you need, they all seem to be asleep.
And you wonder if you missed your dream.

death cab for cutie ~ bixby canyon bridge

i’ll be trading in my suits for jeans.

i accepted a new job at an advertising agency called switch

it’s near downtown stl.

i’m pretty excited :)

i start on April 28th.

-jessica

This is one for the good days
And I have it all here
In red blue green
Red blue green

Radiohead ~Videotape

i’ve become quite stir crazy lately.

just ready to get outta here, take a vacation, lay on a beach, shop in a new mall, play at a park i’ve never been to before, eat ice cream without guilt far away from home.

i’m so sick of the ordinary day in day out. the weather has been increasingly more beautiful and it kills me to see it only through windows.

i love the smell of the air early in the morning on one of those “perfect spring days”

no matter what awful thing may have happened that morning-woke up late, cold shower, no milk, etc. doesn’t matter. the beauty of the day wipes it away.

that’s a good day.

it’s hard to stay mad on those days, too.

how could you possibly.

and the best part? the evening. just after dark, when it’s still warm, but there is a cool breeze coming in. wearing a jacket (NOT a coat).

walking the dog, looking at houses i could never afford, talking–maybe just spending time with someone else.

i love those evenings.

sometimes i even forget that i have to work the next day. it’s just so peaceful.

i like to take a drive to nowhere with the windows down listening to some awesome cd. personally i prefer to pop in a death cab cd. or maybe a mix cd. as long as it’s a good one.

i can’t wait until i can do that almost every day.

and then i can’t wait for summer rain. there is something so wonderful about being soaking wet, but not being cold. warm rain is perfect rain.

and jumping in puddles is even better.

snow is ok. but i’m done with it.

i’m ready for new life.

i’m taking tomorrow off. i need a break. today i was filling out a form and before i realized it, i had put my work phone number, my work email address, and my work zip code.

obviously i have been typing it far too much lately. i can’t figure out what i’ve been doing with my time lately aside from work. and when that happens, i just need to take a day off.

it’s okay, i have lots of vacation to use, anyway.

salessalessales.

i’ve sold more credit cards than i ever would have imagined.

i’m not sure how i feel about that.

did you know there are 8 gagillion self-help ezines available on the internet?

i mean, i figured there were a lot, but there are truly an insane amount.

no, i didn’t read any of them.

but maybe i should:)

-jessica

Give me a reason to fall in love
Take my hand and let’s dance
Give me a reason to make me smile
Cause I think I forgot how

 

I wanna fall asleep with you tonight
I wanna know that I am safe when you hold me tight
I wanna feel like I wanna feel forever

meiko ~ reasons to love you

 

i mean like, really grow up. i know i’m an “adult” now. i have a real job. i am done with school. all the good ages have passed. i think that once you hit 21, the things you look forward to change drastically.

when i’m 25, i can rent a car without paying insane insurance fees. wwwooooah.

right now i feel like life is on hold. but i’m still getting older, as are my family and friends. i still feel like i’m stuck in the college schedule. sleeping late, eating bad food, living with a roommate, rent…..

i want to live with a husband, cook meals, live in a house, pay a mortgage….

go on couples vacations. i’m not ready for children yet, but someday i will be, and i can’t get there from here directly.

i’m sick of the college stage of life.

weird.

i wish i owned a house in colorado. and one somewhere warm. by some body of water. and at least one of my residences would have a large window facing a city skyline.

and there would be a big leather couch. and a big hdtv. and probably a wet bar. and a hot tub.

that probably won’t happen any time soon (if ever).

but i guess if i work hard enough, i can do at least some of the things i dream about doing. i could travel.

if someone offered me a job that was 75% travel. i would take it. because i just want to see everything. and meet everyone. and go to coffee shops i’ve never been to before.

i would get a better phone plan.

and i would add more text messages so that i don’t go over my limit every month like i do now. i think i would also get a new phone. because i need my phone and my calendar to be the same. as much as i love google calendar, it doesn’t do me any good if i’m away from my computer.

i want to get stressed out from time to time.

i want to work late because i HAVE to in order to finish a project.

i want weird things.

and i want to go to breckenridge.

-jessica

I get so distracted
By some peoples reactions
That I don’t see my own faults
For what they are
For what they are

 

At times so self destructive
With no intent or motive
But behind this emotion,
There lies a sensible heart

 

city and colour ~sensible heart

is filled with news about the weather

ice/snow/ice/snow

traffictraffictraffic crash.

i’m off today….because i have to work saturday. sometimes it’s nice to stay home on a week day. it’s like a happy little vacation in the middle of the week.

i bet it’s slow at the bank today. while many of our customers will brave any conditions to complain about their accounts, the majority will stay home. these are the reasonable customers.

this isn’t the end of this weather. i do not look forward to scraping my car tomorrow. at least there is not 9 inches of slow like last time. dress shoes and snow drifts around your car–these things do not mix well. i’m glad they say there is another 6 to 8 hours of sleet to look forward to. now, i would rather have this, this sleetly snowy mix, as opposed to some straight freezing rain we had last year that took out all the power and knocked down trees.

let’s hope it doesn’t get like that.

i’m moving to arizona.

not really–but they don’t get freezing rain there.

i’m not really sure what my parents were thinking when they settled here in the midwest. this weather is unacceptable.
perhaps you can sense my discontent. surely you understand if you have the unfortunate pleasure of living here as well.

the other day i went to see onerepublic, josh kelley, & the daylights, and i must say, i kind of enjoyed myself. i was surprised too.

jess

 

i honestly don’t believe i’ve been, don’t believe i’ve been alright
looking for all the stupid things, all the stupid things you’ll find
i don’t get it, i don’t get it right all the time

manna and quail ~ honestly

 

today i worked for 11 hours

it was a long day

but it was okay, because even though i’m a terrible saleslady, i somehow managed to pull through, and do well.

and then i bought a bottle of wine (i didn’t drink all of it). and played guitar. until now. when i decided to do something semi-productive.

so i did a little photoshopping the other day, i made this picture. this may make me appear narcissistic. i’m okay with that. i’m not, really. narcissistic, i mean. probably the opposite.

yep. that’s me. i always look dreamy like that. every day.

so i’m really disappointed because i apparently don’t read commercials carefully enough. the office fooled me. here is how.

i was under the impression that the new season started today. i mean, i thought it was later, but then i kept seeing these commercials that said “tuesday, sept 11, series premiere 9/8c”

and i was soooo excited. then i turned it on, and realized, it truly was the SERIES premiere. the word series and season–very close. in fact, i didn’t even notice that they switched them on me.

so really, the SEASON premiere isn’t until the 27th. and it’s a thursday. which is normal.

but YEAH. i was pumped. now i have to wait another 16 days. that’s a long time.

i feel really lame and boring lately.

i live so far away from everyone (considering i once lived moments from nearly everyone)

now it’s a 30 minute drive. which can be taxing on a work night. and–this is belleville. it’s not the same as edwardsville. i can’t really just go to the coffeeshop and hang out. or go to the uc. or target. we don’t even have a target right now. and the only coffee shop close by closes at 6pm. and i don’t really feel safe wandering around past dark, so i can’t even walk or bike in the eve.

people get shot here, i think.

i missssss edwardsville.

so i don’t do many fun things on weeknights though. i wish i could get back into the habit of reading, but my eyes are so tired by the end of the day that i don’t.

i watch tv.

and play guitar–which is great. i’ve gotten a lot better.

i want to play more shows.

to show off my sweet guitar skills that i’ve developed.

so here’s something fun..
i think i need to go to the dentist.
and by fun, i mean, not fun at all.
i’m terrified too, because i’m afraid they’ll tell me it’s time to get these wisdom teeth out. (i’ve been putting that off)

but that will most likely deplete my guitar/laptop/emergency funds.

which is incredibly lame.
and awful.

wow i’m sorry, i’m so boring.

saturday night i watched Ghostbusters at the Tivoli.
i guess i haven’t seen that in like…12 years.
i didn’t realize how many sexual innuendos existed in that movie. i guess those escaped me as a child.

i really enjoyed it though. brought me back to my childhood!

i’m definitely a fan of the midnight showings at the Tivoli though. it’s a pretty sweet time to watch a movie. however, i always sleep in really late the next day and then i don’t get anything done at all.

i probably would have slept in anyway.

well, i need to be getting to bed. tomorrow will be another long day of loan sales. call me, if you need one. or a credit card. or insurance. or a checking account. or a savings account. or some investments.
we do everything.

-jess

And I’m leaning on this broken fence between Past and Present tense.And I’m losing all those stupid games that I swore I’d never play. But it almost feels okay.

the weakerthans~aside