So something happened the other day that made me lose faith in people a little bit…just, in general. And I know that it’s not a good response to have, I mean, why should the actions of one man affect how I feel about many people, but for some reason, it did, and I’m having a bit of difficult forgetting it.

It basically goes like this…

I’ve just left my apartment on a warm sunny day…the kind that seems to make people happy. And I am happy. I am off to buy supplies to make my sister’s bridal shower invitations (which turned out quite nicely, by the way).

I am still just steps away from my apartment when I pull up to the corner. It’s a quiet little corner with stop signs all 4 ways. Not much traffic here. I see a man walking diagonally across the road. He’s already halfway there, so I figure, I’ll wait.

It’s not as if I almost hit him. I did not speed to the sign then slam on my breaks disdainfully…I was in a melancholy mood and was driving the same. I never lurched forward from my stop. I gave him the “walk on across” nod. I honestly didn’t mind that he was crossing at that point in time…pedestrians have the right of way….right?

I wait for approximately 3 seconds and the man, a tall, skinny, bald, sweaty man, stops dead in the middle of the road just a foot or so from my car.

At this point, with a snarling face, he yells “gaw’ on, gaw’ head across, ya f*cking ugly f*cking woman”.

This really bothered me. My jaw actually dropped. I did not know how to respond. What have I done to deserve such harsh words and insult? The worst part was simply the look on his face…it was one of absolute hatred and disgust. The scary kind. I mean, I was actually terrified of this man that I had never seen before. And the intensity and anger in his voice…yelling as loud as his lungs would permit. Nearly growling at me as the words left his mouth.

I felt scared. The most scared I have felt living in Maplewood so far.

And then I felt confused. Because it doesn’t seem right that someone could exert that much anger onto another person that they have never encountered before.

I called my dad for some words of wisdom (he typically offers those quite well). He reminded me that this is why we have wars. That this is why people kill other people that they don’t even know. We can make excuses for the man…perhaps he was having a bad day, perhaps he was overheated from the sun, perhaps he was tired, etc. But does that make it okay for him to unleash what were probably the most hurtful words he could think of in the moment, at me? Well, I really don’t think so.

I struggled with it, though. I have only lived in this city for a few months, and this is really the first time I have experienced such unbridled and unjustified anger in person.

Perhaps I am overreacting…but I can’t help it. That’s just how it made me feel.

Why are people so angry?

-jess